Bombay Tiffin-walas

Brett Louise is ready to kill anyone who obeys Indian Standard Time. Unfortunately that may necessitate me killing 90% of the Indian population out of sheer frustration. As someone who runs habitually twenty minutes late I thought I was going to lovingly embrace the Indian Standard Time mentality. But no. Indian Standard Time means that no meeting times are honoured. No taxi will pick you up on time. And no art gallery opens when it says it opens. Unpredictable chaos. Waiting three hours for a meeting to start doesn't fit in with my usual fashionably late attitude.

So imagine my surprise when I found out about the mysterious Bombay Tiffin-wala Brigade. Something in India actually runs on time. Precisely on time.Tiffins are metallic containers that stack up and lock in together. Something like a primitive thermos. But more exciting as you have layers of delicious delicacies to discover inside. It's essentially the Indian lunchbox. At work everyday, the staff open up their tiffins and eat up the yummy curries, dahl, rice and breads inside. But how do they get to work - on time and still hot? The answer to this questions revealed to me the secrets of the Bombay tiffin-walas.

Every morning mothers, wives and domestic helpers cook elaborate lunches for their husbands, children and bosses. These are packed away lovingly into the tiffins. (It's probably important to note here that each tiffin looks exactly the same - all stainless steel.) At around 9:30am in the morning the tiffins are collected from homes all around Mumbai by tiffin-walas. These men don't have cars or trucks. They have primitive wheelbarrows and carts to carry them. The tiffins are all brought to local stations where they are sorted and sent off speedily with other men to other parts of the city. By lunchtime, the tiffins have arrived (still hot!!) ready to be enjoyed by their owners. After lunch a tiffinwala collects the tiffin takes it away where it is put together with all the other tiffins from Bombay where it is washed. After being washed another tiffin-wala returns the tiffin home to be used again the next day.

Over 4000 tiffin-walas take over the city as they deliver over 175,000 tiffins every day.

No, the tiffins are not just rotated to anyone. Your specific tiffin with your specific meal is picked up, delivered, washed and returned to you.

No, they are never misplaced.

No, they are never late.

How? I have no freaking idea.

If only everyone could adopt this predictable attitude I wouldn't have to go on a murderous rampage.